If everything were reduced in size by fifty percent, including you, you would not notice. It is only if you did not fit, that you would notice and if you noticed, you would not fit. From the moment we are born, we are socialized to fit “in”. Then we enter school and are trained how to learn, how to be in the world in an “acceptable” way and in the process are required to resign innate qualities and repress deep feelings for the sake of social acceptance, all of which results in, so to speak, a reduction of consciousness; a primary contributor to the existential pain of human existence we all share in contemporary society, whether or not we’re willing to acknowledge it.
“Emotional shutdown is not a voluntary act. It’s an automatic psychological defence, a dynamic set in action when human beings experience their own sense of vulnerability as too threatening, too overwhelming to bear. The person who shuts down emotionally has been deeply hurt. Shutting down is the formation of emotional scar tissue to cover a raw, sensitive area of one’s psyche.
On the outside, one sees hardness, rigidity, imperviousness — the “I don’t care” of alienated youth. On the inside, there is a painful, raw wound.
... many children have lost their sense of emotional safety in the world because they have lost their sense of close connection with the adults who care for them.”
I think it was the Buddha who said, “Within the one, you can find the many” - meaning that, in the leaves, there is the tree and the soil and the water and the sunshine. And so, the child is but a leaf of its family, and the family is but the tree planted in the soil of societal norms and expectations. Marriage and divorce themselves are but a reflection of the values and morality of that society.
We can spend a lifetime trying to figure out why; and even if, while completely overlooking an individual’s biopsychosocial environment, we still have a belief that genetic factors or an inherent brain disorder or malfunction is the cause of addiction, the reality is, addiction is still part of our world. Rather than ignoring or condemning, let’s provide services and resources in a non-judgmental, non-coercive setting serving to empower self-responsibility for behavior and thereby minimize the harmful effects of addiction.
As with all change, it is slow and incremental. Success is any positive change effected toward a chosen direction. This strategy is a resource to learn about and manage addiction, harmful effects will inevitably be minimized and, eventually a change in direction is taken.